What's Sexy about Little Saigon?

My ambition initially was to identify Bolsa sexuality – a profile on the energy, karma, and strange mating habits of Little Saigonese. In the same way that Carrie’s column on Sex and The City reveals the love nest of New York, I would aspire to do for Little Saigon.

Sex and the Bolsa would give an account of a single woman looking for companionship across the miles of manicured lawn. For deep conversations over a Starbuck’s and long walks on the syringe-scattered beaches. Main obstacles to overcome include baggage, inability to hold down liquor (a disorder known as weaksauce), high expectations; and in a plot twist signature to the O.C. – all the while, still living with her parents and at the mercy of a feisty Chihuahua who hogs the blanket.

But there is more to life than a cable program about one-night stands and designer threads. For lack of a better word, I felt tongue-tied (insert clumsy innuendo here) at the idea of prototyping a community that I am, and perhaps everyone is just coming to terms with. Little Saigon is more than yellow suburbia, a Pho empire, and a no-communist, no argument zone. Immigrant communities are hardly monolithic, but rather the tour de force of two worlds, making it bi-cultural, bi-lingual, among other bi’s. In fact, real life – with its myriad of complications and antibiotics – is as juicy, if not better than the stuff on TV.

The concept of the sexy (trans. xet-xi), the sensual, the sassy is all relative to the eye of the beholder.
My fetishes are my own. With the list below, I present the following items for consideration as hot spots to hit on in Bolsa. Here are my findings:

Most Carnal Window Display – Any one of the to-go delis in Little Saigon. Hanging roasted pork or duck is our beauty queen emerging from the tanning salon, bronzed in barbeque marinade and ready for the gawking. This image – paired with walking cleavage – seen block after block, scandalizes Bolsa as a meat market.

Most Phallic Advertisement – Lee’s Sandwiches on Westminster. The 50-foot inflated bread sticks (of all shapes, sizes, and sensibilities) propped atop the popular franchise beckons you to visit, try out, and bring home to the family.

Most Shamefully Shameless Flirt – Giang Son Duy Ngo, age 44, local waiter. I first met Anh Son while he was working graveyard shift at a now defunct late night quan. Despite being subjected to the obnoxious demands of club kids and other such vampires, Anh Son is a gem in an otherwise notoriously rotten industry – yes, restaurant service in Bolsa. His off-colored interpretation of the menu turns thit bo luc lac into thit bo nhuc nhic., The haphazard hospitality is seamless at 2am. Anh Son wears an easy grin, and will tell a mixture of tall tales and white lies; such as, how he has appeared in a dozen B movie projects, among them Sap Chet Tren Cao Nguyen (Near Death at Cao Nguyen). When that quan closed, I thought Bolsa had lost an institution in low-budget hangouts, as well as access to someone who lends his charming company for the cost of the meal, often surpassing its value. I am glad to report that I did find Anh Son at another restaurant. One night while dining at the fabulous Nguyen Thuy, I reunited with a much happier, gainfully employed Anh Son. No doubt winning over a new batch of customers. If you want to make him smile, Anh Son will also answer to Tom Cruise.

Most Unconventional Aphrodisiac – Nothing like sweet juice from a home-grown, hard rod. Yes, you guessed it: sugarcane. For a buck fifty at stands like Nuoc Mia Vien Tay, this tonic will help any peasant “row the gurney downstream”. Replace the ritual post-coitus cigarette with a toothpick; otherwise, everyone will know what you have been up to, sticky fingers and all.

The Girl Next Door (You Didn’t Know About) – For me, she will eternally represent the plight of the single girl: the stone statue of Quan Am at the Quan The Am Temple on Magnolia/ Lampson. Before all was divine, Quan Am was one lost being on Earth, scorned by her husband and community alike. Perhaps the most memorable of Vietnamese transgenders, she dragged it out monk-style at the local temple, only to have more drama follow. However, her grace was what earned her the title The Goddess of Compassion, The Saint of Perfect Wisdom, and even a ten nha from some guy in Berkeley – Sister Lotus, Sister Flame.

Resident scholar, Thay Chau My, says that any artist who is commissioned to sculpt Quan Am faces a challenge: how to make her alluring without being sexual. Can the two be separated? This earthy Quan Am appears to have just woken from mid-day siesta, bedroom eyes and knowing grin to boot. Her voluptuous body is decidedly settled on top of a suffering dragon, a snake is but a boa around her neck. In this image of the Vietnamese woman, she holds power over man and creature.

Don’t we all wish for that kind of command? Waking with coins between your toes, fruit at your fingertips, and incense curling into your nostrils – all in the shape of prayer, desire, and the hope that you will look in the direction of some poor mortal – even if just for a moment as if to say, Keep dreaming, buddy.